Our energy April Fools’ day headlines…
Netflix’s The Regulator set to return with Ofwat crossover
Fans of Netflix’s Ofgem-set smash hit The Regulator will be thrilled to learn that season two starts filming today (Thursday 1 April). Although secrecy is as high as ever on set, producers have confirmed that a crossover with Ofwat is among the early episodes. The two-parter, entitled “Power and Water Don’t Mix”, will kick off the season on 31 September 2021, with showrunner and executive producer O.F. Jemm downplaying plans for an Ofwat spinoff series if the crossover proves successful. While plot details for the crossover are limited at this stage, it is understood that the two teams will join forces against a common foe, but not before a tense, nail-biting email exchange as to who has set the toughest price controls. Speaking at the press launch for the new season, Jemm said of his plans for the show: “Our season one viewers were clamouring for more adventures, and we can’t wait to share these new stories with both of them.”
Government to hold bake sale to help fund new nuclear
BEIS issued a statement on Thursday 1 April announcing it would be holding a bake sale to help fund new nuclear plant in GB. The government sees new nuclear plant as playing an important role in the future energy mix and as such wants to begin “saving in earnest”. Head of Nuclear Saving Don G. Ness said: “We hope people will now begin to understand how serious we are about funding new nuclear. If every household buys a cake, we’ll only be £20bn off a new nuclear plant.” Other initiatives expected to be launched in the near future include a crowdfunding page, a sponsored cycling tour of GB’s existing nuclear power stations and a parliamentary comedy night.
BEIS consults on Pet Zero strategy
The government issued a consultation on Thursday 1 April on initial proposals that would see all cats and dogs mandated to wear nappies to reduce harmful emissions. Contents of the nappies would be collected for feedstock in anaerobic digestion plants to turn into biogas and be eligible for green gas grants. BEIS spokesperson Will E. Coyote said: “We believe at least eight out of 10 pet owners will see the sense in this initiative.”
Cheap nuclear fusion one step closer thanks to scientific breakthrough
Long hailed as the Holy Grail of unlimited clean energy, the commercial development of nuclear fusion has been elusive for decades, because of the inherent technological challenges of reaching high enough temperatures and plasma densities. However, the recent unearthing in Suffolk’s Rendlesham Forest of crash debris of an unidentified flying object propelled by nuclear fusion is now set to fast-track the industrial applications of this technology. Speaking on Thursday 1 April, Professor H. West of Miskatonic University said: “We are confident of the fact that we can reverse-engineer nuclear reactors of alien origin for the benefit of our planet.”
Ofgas dog to return after 22 years to front press briefings
On Thursday 1 April it was announced that Gus the Ofgas watchdog would be making a long-awaited return as part of a team delivering new press briefings from the regulator’s Canary Wharf office. Gus, the cartoon canine that was the mascot of the Office of Gas Supply, went into retirement in 1999 when the regulators of electricity and gas were merged. Thought to be lost from the industry forever, Gus was found alive and well in storage when Ofgem vacated its Millbank offices in 2018. The watchdog has now agreed to return to be the regulator’s new figurehead, fronting press conferences from a brand-new briefing room which has been kitted out with a stage, podiums and Ofgem-branded flags.